Dave had been born in Hawthorne, California
in 1942, Brian Wilson would have had a soulmate.
If Dave had one extra pair of arms, he would mash the teeny-weeny strings in an incendiary rock-opera guitar solo on his currently-on-fire double necked rock axe.
If Dave were to swing by Detroit tonight, he would pack a rack of ribs, some dollar bills, and take stripper-slaughterhouse-rockstar Wendy Case (The
Paybacks) out on the town.
If Dave were to meet Jimmy
Eat World, he'd teach those pansy-ass emo kids how to write a SONG.
In the last federal election, Dave ran as leader of the National Riff-Rockin', Speaker Slammin', Arena-Rock-Posturing Party of Canada, garnering 5% of the popular vote, and claiming no seats.
If Dave were a web-browser he'd constantly
misdirect you to http://www.elephant6.com, http://www.thedirtbombs.net,
or http://www.brianwilson.com when
really you wanted to access http://www.norahjones.com, http://www.linkinpark.com,
Dave to find himself plummeting from the sky after a mid-air
jet collision, he would probably think "Shit baby, it's all
good – I've left the world with the SPP – my
work here is done."
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Steve – Guitar,
Kate – Keys,
Jeff – Bass
Mike – Drums